Joined
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2,979 Posts
Yesterday I put on spray deodorant, Today I used a deodorant stick. Roll on tomorrow!
Crimewatch: 48 year old shopkeeper Javed Ali was brutally stabbed and after 2 weeks lying in a coma his family had to make the agonising decision.To shut the shop and go visit him in hospital.
It's been hard to get over my addiction to the hokey cokey but I've turned myself around and that's what it's all about
My auntie Marge has been in hospital for six months...I can't believe she's not better!
I'm sick and tired of this. You always put the blame on everybody but yourself when things go wrong!" shouted my wife."Really? And whose fault is that?!" I shouted back
A Muslim was shot today with a starting pistol.
Police say its definitely race related.
There's a job add in the paper for inspecting mirrors.
I could really see myself doing that !
My mate just asked me if he could put a teabag in my mouth and fill me with boiling water.He must think I'm some kind of mug.
I just saw a poster on a tree saying: 'This is a photograph of our dog which is missing. If found please call us'So I phoned them up and said, "I've just found the photograph of your dog."
I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious in the rain today.Well I'm assuming she was poor, she only had 86p in her purse.
What if there was a Braille sign that said don't touch?
I bought some 'rocket salad' yesterday but it went off before I could eat it.
What goes; Click, "have I done it yet?", Click, "have I done it yet?", Click, "have I done it yet ?"
Stevie Wonder doing the Rubik's cube.
Knock, Knock.Who's there?Salt n Pepa.Oh right, the door's not locked. Just push it. Push it real good!
what do you call a scottish pakistani with a drug problem ? amaf maheed
I hope actress Jessica Biel names her first born child Batmo.
Crimewatch: 48 year old shopkeeper Javed Ali was brutally stabbed and after 2 weeks lying in a coma his family had to make the agonising decision.To shut the shop and go visit him in hospital.
It's been hard to get over my addiction to the hokey cokey but I've turned myself around and that's what it's all about
My auntie Marge has been in hospital for six months...I can't believe she's not better!
I'm sick and tired of this. You always put the blame on everybody but yourself when things go wrong!" shouted my wife."Really? And whose fault is that?!" I shouted back
A Muslim was shot today with a starting pistol.
Police say its definitely race related.
There's a job add in the paper for inspecting mirrors.
I could really see myself doing that !
My mate just asked me if he could put a teabag in my mouth and fill me with boiling water.He must think I'm some kind of mug.
I just saw a poster on a tree saying: 'This is a photograph of our dog which is missing. If found please call us'So I phoned them up and said, "I've just found the photograph of your dog."
I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious in the rain today.Well I'm assuming she was poor, she only had 86p in her purse.
What if there was a Braille sign that said don't touch?
I bought some 'rocket salad' yesterday but it went off before I could eat it.
What goes; Click, "have I done it yet?", Click, "have I done it yet?", Click, "have I done it yet ?"
Stevie Wonder doing the Rubik's cube.
Knock, Knock.Who's there?Salt n Pepa.Oh right, the door's not locked. Just push it. Push it real good!
what do you call a scottish pakistani with a drug problem ? amaf maheed
I hope actress Jessica Biel names her first born child Batmo.
