I see your dilemma; however, if you compare and contrast the pix in the ebay adverts - there's loads as usual and all look like the same tings in their own threads - it looks to me as though they aren't two examples of the same part. I attempt to attach pix; IT skills weren't on the timetable when I went to school, though, so please excuse rampant ineptitude.
If that works then what we see is that each has three ports (good) but not in the same relative positions (bad).
Which one of those is like yours would be a good clue, I'd think, and also that the example that doesn't look like yours is not the way to go. Plumbing is significant; this system works by allowing the manifold-pressure signal to be adjusted under cintrol of the ECU. The manifold pressure signal is bled away by the valve shuttling quickly between open and closed, so which pipe goes to which of the connections is quite significant. Where the connection ports aren't in the same relative positions on a replacement compared to the suspect OE part will have an effect!
It appears that perhaps your second advice is from someone who hadn't quite grasped which of the several control valves sprinkled around the motor is under discussion. N75 controls boost, and N249 controls recirculation eg during a gearchange. Both ar erelated to controlling the turbocharger and boost-pressure, but they do different jobs. I guess they are mechanically different for connections so that it's hard to put them in a wrong place. I'd do that if I was thinking of how assembly could go wrong.
If you have a duff N75, and are convinced, then hold fast, stick to your guns, get what you think you need.
F